Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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