Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sonoviva hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.

Fav 17 5050 975
share tweet
(218): View more from Minnesota

i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.

Fav 77 4961 1189
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(985): View more from Louisiana

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

Fav 10 3707 1283
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

How was the bike ride?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.

Fav 21 9073 1567
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your godly.

Fav 13 4492 1436
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.

Fav 11 3817 1199
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle

Fav 2 658 569
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(580): View more from Oklahoma

The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.

Fav 2 272 97
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle

Fav 0 79 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT