He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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