I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize