You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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