What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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