if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you never un-have a 4some
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
