So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize