He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
