dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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