I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
