Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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