Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
