Umm I'm too high to move.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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