So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
