am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My penis needs a shock collar
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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