It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize