hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
