exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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