I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
