We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
