I'm drive I can fine osifer
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
