That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
