The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just blew my weed a kiss
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
