They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
