I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
