I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize