Can i not drive my cunt home
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
