He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
