My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
