Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
