Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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