nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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