ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
