I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize