no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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