JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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