Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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