Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize