my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
