Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
