is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Every concussion has its silver lining
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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