Cold hands, warm shart.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
