you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
