Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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