Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
