Can i not drive my cunt home
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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