her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
time to smoke my breakfast
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
