is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
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