I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
