Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
