we made out on top of his cat.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
