Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize