he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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