I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have feelings that need drinking.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
