so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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