I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this just has baby written all over it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Randomize
