Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
