He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
