i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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