so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
