I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
