Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
