I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
