I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
