Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
