Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
