I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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