Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
