So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Randomize
