I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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