The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
